#what are you gonna do when you get old
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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i didnt plan to spend my sunday this way
#xmen#xmen comics#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#'snap how do you keep finding yourself in these situations' I DONT KNOWWWWWWWW LISTEN TO ME#so all i did last night was draw erik in his lil robe from ToM cause my twitter was liking that old drawing i did#and then i woke up wanting to draw his stupid Lougne Wear when he's on the meteor yk the one Sanctuary From 92#so i started flipping through my 92 art book to find the ref for it then i just kept reading until i got to the end where i saw the#how they say 'anime influenced' designs and i had already wanted to draw charles' chari from that at some point#but THEEEEN I NOTICED HE HAD A LIL RING WITH A RED STONE ????#its on his right hand so Whatever but charles xavier you are not slick i know what you are ........#if i make that ring a staple in my classic charles drawings dont look at me itll depend on the weather tho tbh ANYWAYS#and then i remembered i had my old Cave Dweller Charles sketches from ever ago and i was like#'well i might as well finish those' but then i draw two more. and then i was like#'well since im here ive always wanted to draw charles in that robe erik gives him after saving him from the snow storm'#'in' is a very generous term it is falling OFF him but STILL#i should do something about that lil snow storm rescue now that ive mentioned it .. tho maybe i can tie it in with my 309 thing ..#SO FUNNY I WAS GONNA CONTINUE WORKING ON T HAT TODAY. AND NOW WE'RE HERE#this is what i mean guys its a nightmare and a miracle i can get anything done ever when i get distracted so easily#.i was gonna include another doodle of charles in his lil battle outfit but then i figured id done enough solo charles doodles today#anyways. plesae enjoy !!!!!!! i MUST objective charles more.....
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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more incorrect quotes for the stillborn danyal au - dpxdc
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Student: so like,, *gesturing to Plasmius* is he like,,, your dad or...?? Phantom: he would be if he wasn't such a BITCH Plasmius: excuse me Phantom: YOU HEARD ME
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Under the Bleachers: Danny and Dash smoking in solidarity Dash: Danny: Dash: do you have notes from Lancer's class today Danny: since when do I ever have notes from Lancer's class Danny: I can ask Tucker but only if you have notes from Abernathy's class Dash: deal
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Sam and Tucker: *making s'mores with Danny's lava hair* Danny, as Phantom: >:I Sam: you're just mad because you didn't think of it first Danny: yEAH
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Danny, freshly ghosted: .... Danny: well. at least i dont need to waste money on lighters anymore
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Tucker: with how long your hair gets we may just have to start calling you rapunzel Danny: don't you dare Sam: rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your lava hair Danny: NO
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Danny's hair tie breaks in the middle of a fight Danny: fuck Skulker: language child Danny, pushing lava bangs out of his face: fuck you! just for this im turning your suit into molten slag Skulker: waitholdonwecantALK--
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Danny: you know, by your logic Maddie is equally as guilty for abandoning you as Jack. She also never visited you while you were in the hospital. Vlad, had put his infatuation with Maddie aside but still kinda had feelings for her: Vlad: you're right Danny, not used to an adult agreeing with him: I-- huh, I am? Vlad: yes. If Dr. Walker had cared about me -- even if only as a friend, she would have tried to remain in contact with me. But she didn't. She is also as equally guilty for the accident that took your life too since she also failed to properly check over the portal for flaws and any improper wiring. Danny: wait- wait, i mean-- Vlad: this means only one thing Danny, bewildered: ??? Vlad, extinguishing all lingering feelings: I have to kill her too (somehow) Danny: nO.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc prompt#dpdc#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#flanderizing the vlad and danny dynamic just a little🕺 🕺 🕺 as a treat#parental vlad masters#my vlad masters could beat up your canon vlad masters#my vlad masters also wears a ribcage corset and is permanently cursed with BabyFaced 20 Year Oldness when he's plasmius#danny: hey so my foster mom also never talked to you when you were hospitalized tho | vlad: oh shit u right | danny: i am#vlad: she's also not blameless in your death either. | danny: uh oh | vlad (ultimately A Dad First): this means i have to kill her too#bc if phantom can be a permanent 14yo then plasmius is also a permanent college student and i think thats hilarious. he physically cannot#grow a goatee as plasmius. he can get all the facial hair he wants as vlad but not as a ghost. L to him. this only fuels his vendetta#SB Vlad: im gonna kill maddie | canon vlad: you WHAT#hc that maddie got her doctorate with her maiden name first and refuses to change it. jack and vlad both supported this decision in college#and still do. im taking Vlad's creepiness about maddie out back and shooting it in the kneecaps. boom gone now i can just make him Parental#vlad saw maddie try and shoot danny once and promptly did a 180 on his feelings.#vlad: ah well actually fuck you too now. you shot my kid | danny: NOT YOUR KID#i want everyone to know that i was listening to thunder bringer when i was making the vlad plasmius design and so that is now attributed to#him forever and ever. i curse him with the Zeus Boss Battle Theme Song
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Adivinen quien al fin dibujo algo? Wich means I'm back baby!
Its not perfect (like everything I made), but I just love drawing comic-like-stuff, I get to relax more. I dont try to do the lines perfectly or the super accurate anatomy (mostly cause I dont know shit about anatomy at all) and also get to be more simple in the colors, wich helps cause I struggle making colors a lot.
I missed drawing my babies...but why did I drawing them like that? XD I swear...I think I should have seen some reference cause I totally change the way I draw the Burger Babys which is crazy for me XD
Now...is this an AU, is this them as teenagers, why is Louise working on Aplebees? Well I didnt put an exact age for the guys here, they could be 16 or 19 I dunno.
This is solely based on this post from @zer0ogravity I lmao with this and totally need it to draw it.
btw I from Latam, I didn't knew what Applebees was until making this comic so if Applebees dont look like this sorry.
#bob's burgers#my art#bobs burgers#im back#I have been drawing other stuff#but this is the one I get to finish#is kinda...not clean(?)#but hey is funny#...#at least the dialogue#hope you like it#love the dynamics here#Im totally sure that when Louis get old enough to swear#she would do it all the time#just because#and this got me thinking Gene could be a great#they are such a foodie he would want just the fresh-esh ingredients#Oh! like Bob in that halloween episode#he was so excited abouth the beekeeping#my poor man#XD#and Tina is just me ordering anything#I have to rehearse exactly what am I gonna order#and if they tell me we dont have this would you want to changed it with this?#my brain literally explode#so everytime I get my order right I congratulate myself#and get high five if any of my family or friend is with me#did you miss my excess of tagging?#love you all
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Something I've noticed about being in a small, 'dead' fandom... when you're a content creator, it's like the whole remaining fandom *reacts* when you do anything. I'm in a small but dedicated group of authors for a small fandom. If one of us posts after a dry spell, the rest of us perk up. The fans react. Other creators (like myself) are inspired to make their own stuff.
For a small while, we aren't just small-time creators. It's like we're the franchise itself! Everyone knows when we post stuff. Our content is THE content.
Wow. What a feeling.
#megaman#megaman zx#I love my friends in the ZX fandom#we've got a new author posting 'Scarlet Clouds'#fandom olds and friend like NatGrim start a small landslide whenever they post#I've seen a spark ignite a little when I manage to shove a chapter out#we've had quite the mini-boom this new years#i goddamn live it#fuck you Crapcom#WE are the franchise!#w3 have the power to keep this ybing going#and we are doing so!#....maybe kinda slowly on my part#but gods it's so cool to kbow the actual people making content for the fandom#or even be one of them#suck it Crapcom if you're not gonna do anythhing with Megaman ZX#then I guess we're the official producers by default#stealing the franchise lol#i am slightly drink and taking the piss a little#bit also it's legit you and me and other ZX creators#we all know who we are#our content might as well be official#because we're the only ones making anyghing#and we've all been working on it so long#and frankly?#you know what?#the shit we're making is absolutely fucking glorious#my fellow creators are awesome#don't even get me started in how much I goddamn love the art#ModelXis yes I'm talking about you
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I've decided to do myself what the cowards at Aston won't. Behold.
#GAAAAAAHHHH REALLY HAPPY WITH THESE#GRRRRR I WANNA EAT HIM#not to pat myself on my own back too much but god he looks so fucking hot#woof woof woof man why isnt aston fernando miami 2004 redux not real :(((#only exists in art form :) teehee#ty for everyone who voted in my poll for this even if you didnt know it was for this!#apologies for not picking the most voted one. however...i didnt wanna draw it LOL#theres smth sexier to me about him wearing the unbuttoned shirt OKAY#was pretty fun to design the aston version of the shirt! lmk what you think#also small gripe: it sucks ive put all this work in and its probably gonna end up getting less than the poll i spent less than 10 mins on#idc that much abt notes but ugh the fact that lower effort notes tend to do better sucks :(#unless you wanna make this post more popular than the poll- be my guest :)#anyways god i though renault fernando was hot in these outfits and i obv still do but ggrrrrrr old man fernando when i get you#as i said yesterday. if he wont do well on track he might as well do well off track. so here i am. objectifying him#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2024 miami gp#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.
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riot making arcane the main canon is honestly the stupidest and most unnecessary move, its taken alot of enjoyment from the show for me bc now instead of seeing it as a really well made fanfiction that i can just sit back and enjoy the reinterpretations of without worry i keep thinking how whatever they do is gonna fuck with canon and how much is retconned bc of it
they didnt even finish the other, waht 10 year old now?, retcon and now they are doing it again?? what for?? literally nothing is gained from forcing it all into arcanes interpretation- even if they want to bring more characters the show made up into the game you can do that without having to make the show the center of everything; i might have stopped playign the game but i still care about some of the characters and stories, the lore and worldbuilding is what i enjoyed most of any league stuff, all of which is now on thin ice (granted, it has been since they started to fire their writers, but now even the work they did might not even stay), it hurts to see things you loved being thrown into the garbage for no reason, whatever time i spent thinking and caring about it essentially wasted, deemed that what i cared about didnt matter at all (hhhh similarly so with totk, what is it with these things happening to the few things i ever liked ......)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#league of legends#never thoguht id use these tags again ...#anyway ... its annoying#and it has severly impacted my enjoyment of the show....#when it wasnt canon i found the whole arcane hexcore thing an interesting idea#now??? what is it? is gonna retcon mages as a whole? is that the new void? whatever it is its gonna fcuk with existing stuff#i stopped caring about zelda lore bc of totk and now i guess i need to let go of leagues world too#old skarner and his lore already got thrown out the window- i hate the new him and the complete removal of hextechs og source too#good thing i never got as much into lols lore as i did with zelda#still it feels like im losing every last bit of things i ever liked#'fuck canon and do your own thing' can only get you so far and im tired ... im so tired
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I know they’re never gonna get that far with the show but since Percy is a blond now I just kinda wanted I scene with him, Will and Jason standing side by side wearing the camp shirt looking as closely related as possible as Nico watches with a disgusted look on his face
#“you’re not my type’’ scene is gonna be so funny if Percy and Will look similar too#but that’s only in the second book series and if they’re gonna do one book per season (which is a great pace)#I don’t think we’re gonna get there#what happened to the good old days when shows had 11 seasons with 24 episodes each?#percy jackon and the olympians#keeping RIGHT tag thank you very much#percy jackson#jason grace#will solace
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My favourite fantasy lately is Kuya kidnapping Eiden and bringing him to a house in the woods to punish him for endangering himself during some adventure. Kuya keeps Eiden in bondage and constantly on edge, teasing and denying him. And Eiden just takes it without asking to be let out, allowing Kuya to vent his fear and frustration, because he's nice like that.
But, at some point, even the strongest little soldiers break, and just when Eiden is about to shatter from all the stress and Kuya's oppressive anxiety, Quincy comes for the rescue. He's the only one who managed to find that little wooden shack in the middle of nowhere (you know, because Kuya's allowed him to), and he comes in and persuades Kuya to relent.
Kuya hasn't even given Eiden any dick in all the (three? four?) days they've been at it, so serious he was about the discipline aspect!
Eiden cries when Kuya finally fucks him, and Quincy makes him spill
this just reminds me of Billowing Wildfire Kuya R2 where eiden saID sO HImself
i would not be surprised if kuya went full speed into an evil edging hostage situation because he doesn't know how to process eiden's mortality
#feesh answer#i don't think even I'M that evil#i wouldn't edge eiden for DAYS...#then again i don't have the lifespan of an ancient fox yokai. i think.#so time passing for kuya must feel very different#(eiden being magically edged in the other room) kuya while doing his nails: huh. has it been 20 minutes already?#IT HAS BEEN 2 DAYS. KUYA LET HIM SPLORT#is there any way the clan members would NOT freak out after seeing eiden disappear for 3-4 days?#by the 1st night of MissingEiden#at least 3 of his wives would be on high alert LOL#unfortunately kuya rly does have those ridiculous powers#if he didn't wanna be found then none of the others would be able to get to him#i guess that's when quincy and rei are hired to sniff him out#rei's prob more lax like. what? the grand idiot's been gone for a day? so what. he's prob just fucking his way thru the clan#and one by one they all go 'he's not with me'#maybe by the 3rd day due to the delay in manual mail delivery#they get the scroll back from dante like 'no eiden is not with me'#and that's when everyone FLIPS OUT and the search goes into high gear#no. no actually i feel like they would all have figured out where eiden was within a day#that many brains.... surely they would be able to tell#or quincy would tattle. very matter of factly.#as in. yeah. i can sense it. old fox is squirreling away somewhere with the little devil#sigh. kuya if you keep this up they're all gonna put u thru mandated fox therapy or smth#you cannot do this every time you get separation anxiety#wait how tf do you spell the kuyaei shipname. is it just kuyaei. kuyei? kyuei? friggni vowels man#nu carnival kuya
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V, JoeNicky & Nile
V. An abandoned or empty place.
When Joe pulls the sheet off the couch it kicks up enough dust that it makes Nile sneeze. The couch underneath is old, wooden frame rotting, fabric stained and full of holes where moths have eaten away at it.
“Sorry,” Joe says to Nile when she finally manages to get the sneezing under control. “Didn’t realise it was that bad.” He puts his hands on his hips and looks down at the couch. Nile looks it over.
“There’s no saving that,” she says, wiping at her eyes. She can heal from falling over ten stories, but she can’t get away from allergies.
Joe frowns. “I liked that couch.”
The house is older than anywhere else they’ve brought her, and has been abandoned for long enough that it’s falling apart. But through some trick of posing as their own sons, or something, Joe and Nicky still own it, even if there’s a giant hole in the roof and all the windows are broken. Why they’d decided to come back here, Nile doesn’t know, but it’s a nice enough area, and a good distraction from, well. Everything. Growing back a leg, she’s discovered, is not fun.
From one of the other rooms – she thinks it’s the kitchen, she’s not actually sure where Nicky had wandered to – there’s the sound of something breaking and crashing to the ground, and a muffled curse.
Joe makes a questioning noise in the vague direction of the kitchen. A few moments later, Nicky appears in the doorway, covered in dust. “I am okay,” he says. “But I think we will need to go out to eat tonight.”
“Nothing?”
Nicky shakes his head. “Unless you want to start a fire and go hunt some rabbits.”
Joe grins. “Just like old times, right?”
Nile shakes her head firmly, which makes Nicky smile. She loves them, but there’s no way they’re doing that.
“We can probably clear out enough space in here,” Joe says, gesturing to the floor. “Get the sleeping bags out of the car. Probably have to start a fire anyway, but…”
Nile looks around again while Joe says something to Nicky in Arabic that makes him laugh. The house is falling apart, sure, but it’s structurally stable, and the bones are all there. It could be something. They’ve got time to make it something.
Nicky is the one who goes for pizza in the end – he doesn’t trust Nile and Joe to order it if left to their own devices – while they try to clear out a space in the living room. Eventually, though, after Nile has another sneezing fit, Joe suggests they just take the sleeping bags outside instead, which works out a lot better. He sets about starting a fire with practiced ease while Nile sets out the sleeping bags around it. They’re far enough away from civilisation that she can’t hear cars passing by, which is kind of surreal, and the stars are brighter than she’s ever seen them.
When Nicky gets back, two boxes balanced on one arm and a bottle of wine in the other, he looks over their makeshift camp and laughs. “Just like old times, then?” he asks.
Joe grins. “Except we have pizza.”
“And actual sleeping bags,” Nile says.
“Ah, these modern inventions could never quite match the comfort of a pile of furs,” Joe says wistfully. Nile gives him a look. She’s ninety percent sure that one’s bullshit, but she can never quite tell with him.
Nicky sets down the pizza boxes, and jogs back to the car to grab the pack of plastic wine glasses they’d bought before they got here.
“We should’ve bought marshmallows,” Nile says. “Could have made s’mores.”
“Well, we’ll have to go to the hardware store tomorrow anyway,” Joe points out. “And I think it’ll be a little while before we can actually sleep in there.”
“Tomorrow, then?”
“Tomorrow,” Nicky agrees.
#neon answers#materassassino#neon writes#kaysanova#nile freeman#what's going on here? who knows. they're renovating an old safehouse in the middle of nowhere#why isnt andy there? off on a solo self discovery road trip she calls em sometimes#i like to think its a really old one and when they were deciding where to go joe was getting super nostalgic about it and talking about it#to nicky like habibi.... do you remember that little house we had a few years ago..... we should go back there.....#(local 900 year old man confused 'a few years' for like 150 and didn't realise until they got there)#(and promptly went hm. i think it may need some work)#(nile. who had been expecting an Actual Functional House. just has to sit there for a moment)#they're having fun though. she and joe are gonna have fun painting on the walls. etc#nicky doesn't trust them with pizza because nile (not picky) and joe (LOVES to annoy nicky) will deliberately order the worst looking optio#like. dominoes had a cheeseburger pizza. that's what they're going for#nicky let this happen two (2) times before just going for pizza himself#when andy's there it's even worse she will get margherita but she'll also 'add her own toppings'#like my parents who put chinese takeout on pizza. it's good i'm sorry i know i'm expecting to be banned from italy soon#ANYWAY#thank you for the prompt!! i had fun <3
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punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!
ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him
no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)
"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"
he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple
he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet
soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost
ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch
he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing
he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."
he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."
he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-
ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-
“johnny!”
he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive
the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."
ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"
soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice
“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"
soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it
it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel
ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap
his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive
soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around
soap is the priority
he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe
then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk
#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl#tw implied past suicide#god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door#ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go#he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub#when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket#hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded#trying not to fall back into old habits#but theres a reason hes called ghost#bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck#soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed#bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#save post
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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hi au where billy and max are child stars
neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.
his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.
him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.
the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.
billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.
his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.
having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.
neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.
turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.
part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.
being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.
it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.
him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.
him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.
he never even got to tell her his news.
it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.
starting to resent it.
hating it.
hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.
hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.
hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.
him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.
growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.
neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.
rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.
his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.
neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.
emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.
going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.
doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.
the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.
deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.
hitting rock bottom.
getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.
her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.
them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.
her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.
them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.
billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.
neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.
too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.
he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?
before or after your dad took his cut?
billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.
ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!
#the idea of steve and like the other st teens being disney stars and billy and steve having a thing#after stevenancy of course. and then steve bailing and going back to nancy the second she shows him attention#and billy being like. hurt and heartbroken and soooo fucking fifteen years old about it#things leaking and neil losing his shit over the gay rumours#things coming out over the years of neil being a piece of shit and billys team being fucking awful#max having it good for a while at the start before neil comes into the picture then realising how fucked things can be when he takes over#cutting him out and considering giving up acting#but realising she actually loves it. just not on neils terms and not on disneys terms.#taking a slight break and getting new management before getting back out there.#billy seeing every one of her movies and calling her to nitpick every single one#also the idea of steve and nancy getting married then divorced a year later and billy catching the headlines#like damn. whatevers happening over theres probably 10x as fucked than whats getting reported. thank fuck i dodged that bullet.#100% have what happens with billy when he fucks off from the public eye mapped out but whatever we're not focusing on that#gonna go listen to my hannah montana/miley playlist now thanku#also thinking about this au made me realise there really is no Disney guy like miley hilary raven demi selena were#like theres zefron cos hsm i guess#but like. guy disney channel star????#whatever it's not important its fiction it doesnt matter#anyway the idea of billy coming back to social media to post once in a blue moon#and him being like. 'well my therapist says i need to accept and make peace w my childhood so imma try and see what u all see#and watch this shit' and then start like. liveposting while watching the shows that made him famous#posting a story to insta with 'you all made this punk a fuckin household name?????' over a clip of him doing some acting at like. age 6.#and then another clip with 'at some point u gotta realise the problem is you holy fuck'#'i was a kid i had an excuse. you all just made anything famous back then jfc'#m#nqff#text
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#thanks for the dm dana sjfdhsjdfs#genuinely like all the fatigue of the past few months hit all at once this morning and when im overly stressed my mental health#gets bad. like really really bad#it was nice 2 laugh abt something ridiculous ajkhjkdfsdh#fnaf#spacie scribbles#at first this was gonna be springtrap talking 2 me but it makes more sense if its you lmaoksjdfkslfdj#i dont remember what your sona looks like forgive me 😭#and i didnt wanna dig something up for this shitpost so#i shuld learn 2 draw gore so that when i feel really bad like this i can draw characters getting hurt#genuinely think that would make me feel better#well. ig ik what imma be spending the rest of tonight doing#imagine being such a pathetic old decrepit creature that a couple plastic balls are all it takes ta destroy you#i could beat his ass. its canonically possible for me ta beat his ass#i wouldnt even hafta try that hard#buddy. you're DONE#also his hips.....#damn#thighs are a weakness of mine like dude.#look at his shit bro. this is fucking ludicrous#the way his stance is#auuugh#sickening
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